how is this what you wanted

well, you won’t have to hear “please” from my lips again / “please” from your mouth hurts like hell in my chest / well, i know i’m an ass, but you won’t have to know me again / thought i’d meant anything else to you than this

well, i wish you’d believe i wouldn’t wish you pain, & hell not again / i thought i’d known depression, but i didn’t know shit / well, i was a damn fool for letting myself fool myself again & again & again / thought i’d figure it out, but still there’s a thousand things i don’t get

well, despite my inability to communicate a first time, forget again / it wasn’t sarcasm when i told you you were my closest friend / well, pathetic as i am, i swear i’d do all of it again / except the parts i hurt you, or added to your numbness

well, i could rise a thousand times, but you’d wait til i fall again / & i could need your help, but you’d never lend your wings / well, the parts you have of me that i can’t get again / it was only a half-lie when i told you then i had no regret

well, i tend to forget the good in favor of hell again / i know you tend the same, but i’d give anything for you to not forget / well, i never wanted this, but you chose this again / how is it what you want, how is this what you wanted